giving and receiving

I think I know now that I have understood the core meaning of self-love and love itself. Once I read an article and it said that we could not love someone else, if we did not love ourselves in the first place. Let's put that sentence in a situation where you want to give an envelope to someone else; there has to be something in it. Meaning that we have to get something to put in to that envelope. We should achieve that thing first, because we cannot give an empty envelope to someone else, can we?

It has similar understanding to what we usually call 'love'. Loving someone means that we need to give the love which we firstly have in ourselves. Whereas if you do not have that love inside yourself, you cannot give 'love' or love that person who is with you. We need to love ourselves in the beginning, before we have the urge to love someone else. It was extremely scary remembering those times when I forced myself to be confident, to love me for who I was, and to love someone else at the same time. Loving ourselves means that we need to accept the flaws in us and embrace all the good things together, doesn't it?

I was quite busy thinking about what should I do to love this person, that I did not spare my time to talk with myself, to reflect. I did not know what self-love was. The only thing I know was loving him so deeply that I should only focus on him, and ignore the world. Then when the time came he cut the bond between us, I started to blame myself. I yelled at him through the calls, texts, asked him what mistakes that I did. 

Perhaps what I was doing was wrong, and perhaps I was just too dumb to realize that it is important to have a self-love, in the world full of sceptical and judgemental people. I guess it was one of the reasons why the universe did not want us to be together. Looking back to what I did years ago, I did not love myself first before I gave the love he needed, so that he did not fully receive and give back what I deserved. I'm pretty sure it all makes sense now. Loving yourself means you are ready to give love and receive the love from someone. Love needs its roots to make it strong enough after giving its part to others, one of the roots is your love for yourself; inside you.